Serendipity's Garden


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Day 3: Seeing the Good

My first introduction to the self-growth and personal development field was nearly twenty-five years ago while working a temporary job at a major book publishing company. Boxes of new titles arrived at the office weekly, and among them were newly released offerings by Louise Hay and Susan Jeffers.  I learned about the importance of positive thought and mindset and intention as I was in the midst of making – let’s just call them “questionable”  – major life choices.

Fast forward a good number of personal growth books, courses, and affirmations later, and I became a mom for the first time at the ripe old age of 29.  My own mother had given birth to me (her only child) at 41, a fact which I was to regard with some awe and much greater respect later in life.  I remember thinking at 45, “I can’t imagine having a 4 year-old at this point.”

Motherhood dramatically changed the way I looked at life and the possibilities ahead. After my daughter was born (four years after her older brother), I left their biological father and began a new chapter.  I remember journalling every day until there were no more tears left to cry, releasing all of the anger and grief I felt at losing the dream of our happy family.  It never really was, though…I recall the peace I felt when he finally moved away to another province and left us to rebuild our lives.

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty upbeat person and I continued to work on positive affirmations and goal-setting.  But I didn’t experience as much success as I’d hoped for – I allowed a lack of support from my then-partner to tank my network marketing business, I gained a LOT of weight, and I came to a point where I needed to rethink my whole outlook and lifestyle.  I left my job and started a virtual assistant business for coaches (after being introduced to coaching through bartering my services for free coaching sessions.)  I learned a great deal about the law of attraction, the business of coaching and the steps for success. Around that time I also discovered Abraham-Hicks, whose uplifting message absolutely resonated for me then – and still does today!

But even though I “knew” intellectually what was required for success in health, relationships and wealth, and I had done a personal excavation and was (at least somewhat) aware of what was holding me back, I didn’t experience the success I was seeking.  After long years of study and application I was still doing battle with debilitating fears that kept me playing small.  “Not smart enough, not good enough, just NOT ENOUGH” was the mantra I would hear every time I attempted to step outside of my comfort zone.  I isolated myself and wondered why, no matter how great my desire, I couldn’t translate theory to reality.

Truthfully, it wasn’t until I allowed myself to seek soulful support – which specifically helped me transform my long-held fears and blockages – that things really began to shift.  I began to understand how to actually put into practice the concepts I’d learned, and how to finally release the limitations that I’d permitted to hold me captive for so long.  The incredible changes that have taken place in my life in the last couple of years  (and the last few months in particular) have left me feeling as though I’m living in an entirely different Universe.

And despite the sometimes rocky journey it took to get here, I’m seeing the good in all things.

And so, I believe,  can you.